Clay Aiken

I suppose you could say I am a bit of a celebrity stalker.

A year ago I was getting out of cab on Fifth Avenue and as I was paying the driver, I heard the distinct sound of one of our greatest living actresses. When I turned around, I saw Meryl Streep walking by with with her daughter. Immediately, I threw some cash at the driver and followed Ms. Streep. She was on the phone talking. Her daughter was busy texting someone and no one else seemed to notice that the woman who won an Academy Award for Sophie’s Choice was in our midst. It was mind-blowing. Immediately, I took out my cell phone and pretended to talk into it so that I could continue following her but not look like I was following her. Then I had the brilliant idea to take her picture with my phone. So I deftly activated the camera and began blindly snapping photos of Ms. Streep. Horrible. I know. When all three of us arrived at Fourteenth Street, it dawned on me that I had turned into something of freak, following this poor woman and snapping unauthorized photos. So I put my phone in my back pocket and walked away. Later, I realized I’m no Annie Leibovitz because all the photos were of the sidewalk.

That December, my sister and her family visited from Alabama. As a Christmas gift, I took them to see Spamalot on Broadway after I heard they were big fans of the film, Monty Python and the Holy Grail. A friend offered us house seats with the added bonus of taking my family backstage. Clay Aiken, the runner-up to American Idol was starring in the Spamalot at the time. He had just come out as gay and so my lunatic brain had the crazy idea to wrap my book, Advocate Guide to Gay Men’s Health and Wellness and if I was lucky enough to run into Clay, that I would offer it to him as a gift.

The show was spectacular. The kids and my sister and brother-in-law loved it and directly after the curtain went down, we were escorted backstage for a guided tour. The kids were in awe, seeing the inner workings of a stage show. Just as we were about to exit, I heard screams coming from the stage door, and lo and behold, there he was – Clay Aiken. I gasped but immediately went into action. I walked casually up to Clay and in a calm voice said, “Mr. Aiken, I think you’re great. Merry Christmas.” With that I handed him my gift wrapped book. He accepted and thanked me.

Cut to yesterday, when my good friend Larry Flick, host of the Sirius radio show, Morning Jolt, emailed me early in the morning to brag that he was going to interview Clay Aiken. Larry knows I am a stalker, so I told him my Clay Aiken story. Of course, he had a good laugh on my behalf and so I hung on him.

That afternoon, Larry paid me a visit in my office. He told me all about his interview with Clay Aiken and what a delight he was. Then he told me that he had a surprise for me. “Close your eyes,” he said. I did; and when I opened them, this is what I saw:

It's signed to Dr. Frank

Larry said he asked Clay if he remembered receiving a book from a crazy doctor. Clay did not recall being assaulted by me back stage but he did say that he saves every gift he receives, and that he would check when he got home.

Imagine that?

In any case now Clay and I have exchanged autographs copies of our work.

Alert the geek squad. I need counseling.