The H8 Continues

scary gay men with son

scary gay men with son

menacing lesbians

menacing lesbians

Yesterday California voted to uphold Prop 8. That made me sad, really sad…

adam_lambert

… as sad as I was when Adam Lambert failed to get enough votes to beat Kris Allen on American Idol. “It’s a conspiracy against the gays,” I said to my partner Chad. He agreed. When I awoke the next morning, still upset over Adam’s loss, I walked into my office only to hear Kris Allen’s music on the radio. “Already?” But no. Stephen, who mans the front desk in my office, bought all of Kris Allen’s songs on iTunes. “Wait a minute,” I said. “You didn’t vote for Adam? But you’re gay.”

“I hate Adam Lambert,” he said. “Adam’s voice scares me, and Kris is soooo cute.”

Maybe it wasn’t a conspiracy after all. After a while I began to listen. “Well I do like the tone in his voice.” I thought.  Suddenly I was becoming a convert, and I felt as though I was cheating on Adam. Of course I couldn’t mention any of this to Chad. He would be so disapointed.

WilliamDonohue02

Then yesterday I was on the stair master at the David Barton Gym and the news came on about Proposition 8. The leader of the Catholic League was shouting into the camera, “God created marriage for one man and one woman, and I don’t care how many times you take this to a vote, it’s NOT going to happen!”

I wanted to slide off the stair master, but I was afraid of making a spectacle of myself. I felt short of breath and light headed. As I looked around, I noticed no one else was taking as much umbrage as I was over this bloated homophobic Catholic League leader’s caustic remarks. Afterwards, I went back up to the locker room. I couldn’t work out. “Why do they hate us so much?” I thought. “Do we scare them like Adam scares Stephen with his crazy mad vocals?” I can think of scarier things: swine flu, the octo-mom, cankles and thrombosed hemorrhoids.

Chad said we should stop paying taxes. “That will show them. If they don’t want to give us equal rights, then we shouldn’t have to pay equal taxes.”

“But then we might go to jail and get raped,” I thought. That would suck because in jail you get raped by men who look like Ernest Borgnine.

borgnine-bw

Isn’t there a better solution?

Chad said that one day it will pass, probably in ten or twelve years. Then we can get married. Until then we have to persevere. I agree with Chad. So instead of not paying taxes, we just won’t move to California.

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