John Mayer

I’m sort of perplexed by the whole John Mayer thing.

Originally, when I heard him back in 2008 with his single, Daughters, and then I saw him perform it on television, I thought, “Oh this looks like a sweet, clean-cut guy. Not my cup of tea but certainly if you like to hear acoustic music from a singer songwriter with a smokey voice playing a guitar, then he’s your man.”

But then I heard he sold the rights to this song to be used for a Hallmark commercial. Again, not my cup of tea. I think artist who sell their music so early in their career seem like they’re selling out too soon. What’s the hurry John?

Then came the Hollywood lifestyle, dating women like Jessica Simpson, Jennifer Aniston and other model types. Then I saw the tattoos, the pictures of him drunk, and I thought, “Wait, what the hell happened to John Mayer? I thought he was like this Indie/Jazz singer songwriter. Now he’s acting like a 70’s rock star and getting all drunk and nasty with the ladies.”

I started to wonder, “Is this the same guy who wrote these lyrics:

Fathers, be good to your daughters
Daughters will love like you do
Girls become lovers who turn into mothers
So mothers, be good to your daughters too

I mean really John Mayer. Are you telling parents how to raise their daughters? Why? So you can possibly date them, get all sloppy drunk and then break up with them? Then after you’re done, you can dump on them, like you did with Jessica Simpson, referring to your experience with her as sexual napalm.

I’m confused. Why is he popular with the ladies? Is it the bad boy syndrome? Did he strategically re-invent himself in order to separate himself from that good boy image we initially fell in love with? I think so and here’s why: Most people don’t want to listen to a boy singing about how parents should raise their daughters when he doesn’t have any children of his own. John Mayer created this bad boy persona because musically we are drawn to tortured souls. If we wanted to hear uplifted, goody good lyrics, we’d listen to gospel music.

I do not have any daughters of my own, but I did grow up with two older sisters. Throughout the years I watched a parade of boys, some good and some bad, come in and out of their lives. It was difficult to watch them get hurt, but I was much younger than my two sisters, too young I suppose to beat these boys up when they stood up one sister or broke up with another. You would think that after it happened the first time a girl wouldn’t go back to a bad boy again? Yet, there is something inexplicably (dare I say it?) sexy about a bad boy. He’s dangerous, sexual, rebellious and everything our parents warned us about. Hell, I can recall a woman, who at a cocktail party, referred to Scott Peterson as hot. I thought, “Lady! Wasn’t he convicted for murdering his wife?”

Well, John Mayer I probably won’t buy any of your music. Not that you’ll even notice. You’re probably already very rich selling your songs to Hallmark. Now every time I buy a greeting card for one of my sisters I’ll think of you and those lyrics to Daughters and laugh to myself. If there truly is a God, one day John Mayer will have children, hopefully a daughter of his own, and she will likely be drawn to a bad boy like her mother. Perhaps one evening she will be out past her curfew, and John will be waiting nervously in the den wondering if she’s okay.

I don’t know John. Will she?

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