Bomb on Broadway: My theater curse continues

So when I say I went to see a bomb on Broadway. I’m not kidding.

As I’ve mentioned in the past, I have been cursed by some unknown gypsy out of Stephen King’s novel, Thinner, because often when I go to the theater, the understudy performs or someone has a heart attack or some other annoying thing happens. Well, tonight beats them all.

Chad bought me tickets to Lend Me a Tenor, starring Tony Shaloub and Anthony LaPaglia at the Music Box Theater. Unfortunately, Chad had to go away on business, so I took my friend Eric instead. That should have been my first clue that something was amiss. Of course Eric was running late, and we couldn’t catch a cab. So we took the train. Inside the train we were detained several minutes, so by the time we reached the streets of Times Square, we were making a mad dash for the theater. In our haste, I noticed that the streets were unusually crowded but being that I don’t get up to Times Square that often, I figured it was a typical night. That was my second mistake. As I pulled Eric into the theater, I noticed a police barricade forming on West 45th Street. So instead of stopping to look  like everyone else, I dove into the theater. At that moment, they shut they doors, and boom! We were locked inside with the theater less than half full. After several minutes, it dawned on me that the show was not about to go on as scheduled.

An announcement was made that the curtain was being held indefinitely. That’s when panic set in as the frantic audience began calling and texting their loved ones to see what was going on. Soon someone discovered that there was a bomb threat on West 45th Street and it wasn’t Denzel Washington in Fences. No, it was a black SUV with Connecticut license plates parked outside, which had been abandoned and was now emitting smoke. The police discovered a suspicious package inside with black powder and a detonating device.

The show did go on twenty minutes passed 8pm. It was awkward to say the least, but the cast was amazing. Jan Maxwell should receive a Tony nomination along with the three male leads, however as I sat there contemplating my demise and feeling my tooth fillings throb, I wondered, “Is this how I am ultimately meant to go – a bomb on Broadway?”

After the show ended, the cast took their bows and the police made their way on stage to announce the latest news about the bomb. They interviewed several members of the audience, and then we were led, single file, outside the back of the stage, down a narrow path to Shubert Alley. With all the old people and Eric staggering about and complaining, I felt like I was with Shelley Winters in the Poseidon Adventure. On the streets, the barricades were now widened by police as masses of stranded people stood waiting because they weren’t able to get to their hotels or parked cars. It was mass hysteria. Eric and I made it home safely.

So now do you believe me?

If anyone knows someone who can remove this hex from me, please let me know as soon as possible. I’m to attend the Lucie Lortel Awards this evening to honor Off-Broadway achievements. Wish me luck.

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