Father’s Day

On this Father’s Day I’d like to take a moment to remember my dad, Angelo, who passed away last August. I hate to admit it, but over the past several months, there were times when I forgot he isn’t around anymore. One day I was watching television, and I saw commercials urging me to buy that special gift for my dad and suddenly I was reminded that he is no longer alive. My best friend Eric lost his dad 22 years ago. He died suddenly from an aortic aneurysm. On the anniversary of his death, Eric called me. He told me I was now a member of a special club: men without fathers. We both laughed nervously but the truth was that we now shared something else in common.

I urged my mom to come into the city today. I didn’t want to go to my house and see the chair where my father sat or see his jacket hanging in the closet in the foyer. My mother didn’t want to come into the city. She said she would feel out of place. Fortunately, she thought twice and finally agreed. I don’t know what it must feel like to be single again after 50 years. My father needed her so much and now she had no one to dote on.

So to everyone out there who still has a father, make sure you call him or even send him a card.

Chad and I recently went to see the John Wesley exhibit in Chelsea. He is classified as a Pop artist, a label that sat uncomfortably. “But I accepted it because it got me into a lot of shows,” said Mr. Wesley. He has also been called an insurgent Minimalist. Here are some photos I took of his work.

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2 Comments

  1. phillip
    Posted June 23, 2010 at 2:27 am | Permalink

    Losing our parents is one of the most difficult things in life, at least to me. I lost my father at 14 after a 3 year illness, lung cancer, after a prognosis of 6 months. We would drive to Berkley and he had treatments of Laiatrail and pain medication from Mexico.

    He had a hosptial bed in my parent’s bedroom and a big oxygen tank “byrd” machine and I would help give him oxygen.

    Cancer went to his brain eventually and he would go in and out of delusions.

    One day he said he was ready to go to the hospital and die and they took him and he died that night, really from drowning on lung fluid.

    Only by coincidence, he had broken his shoulder in a fall, did they find a spot on his lung and compare it to an earlier X-ray and it had grown. This was in 1970/71 to 74. It was a very traumatic. Experience.

    I was depressed at that time of year for years afterward.

    I don’t really think about it all that much anymore.

    I just lost my mom 4 years ago near Thanksgiving.

    The one positive thing I can say about losing my parents is that at least I know the worst things in my life have happened, and I survived…

    Peace.

  2. phillip
    Posted June 23, 2010 at 2:35 am | Permalink

    Yes he was a heavy smoker until he was diagnosed.

    My father was born in 1918, and started smoking at a very early age.

    He died at age 56 after the removal of one lung, and then again a year or so later, the removal of half of the remaining lung.

    He lived on 1/4 lung for a long while.
    .


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