Child Sexual Abuse

I’ve avoided speaking publically about child sexual abuse, but now I think it’s time.

In 1978 I was molested by my Scoutmaster for nearly two years. I was molested along with many other boys. When I told my parents, my Scoutmaster stepped down. No charges were brought against him. Because he was also a highly decorated police officer, I think my parents feared him.

Thirty years later, I discovered he wrote a memoir recounting the events that led him to adopt a suicidal teenage boy in 1982. I was on a book tour promoting my own book, Advocate Guide to Gay Men’s Health and Wellness in 2008, when I discovered it on-line. I was able to track down his sister through his book. She put me in contact with my former Scoutmaster. At that time, I did not confront him about the molestation, but what he told me was so shocking that I felt my whole world was crumbling around me. Since 1982 my former Scoutmaster adopted a total of 15 boys. He still has three in his care today.

I then contacted the police. We wired tapped two conversations with my Scoutmaster and presented the case to the District Attorney’s office where he now resides, but they have not been able to charge him because they said that there have been no complaints made against him by a minor.

Due to the current Statute of Limitations, they can not arrest my former Scoutmaster based on my claim alone.

I’m concerned because he still has three children in his care, and I have reason to believe that they may be mentally handicapped.

I feel helpless. I live day to day thinking that this man still has children in his care. I think about all the boys he’s molested throughout the years. I’ve met with several who are now adults.

Something happens to a child when an adult betrays their trust and exploits them for their own personal gratification. The ramifications of child sexual abuse live on throughout adulthood.

It is known that 90% of child molesters are someone the family or the child knows. I urge parents to be careful not only of strangers but to anyone who pays particularly close attention to your child. Look for signs. Once my Scoutmaster molested me, I started to wet the bed. I was eleven. This should have been a red flag.

Please don’t avoid the signs and listen to your children.

I’ve written a memoir about what happened to me in 1978 and the events that have transpired since 2008. It is currently being considered for publication. I hope my book will help others.

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3 Comments

  1. Eric
    Posted June 22, 2010 at 3:06 pm | Permalink

    I’m so sorry to hear that you had to go through that experience.
    When I was 10, I witnessed molestation of my friend by our soccer coach. My friend committed suicide by age 16. His parents didn’t believe me when I told them about it. They terminated contacts with me or my family.
    Thank you for sharing your story and I hope that you started to heal.
    best wishes,
    Eric

  2. phillip
    Posted June 23, 2010 at 2:32 am | Permalink

    I hope that someone else sees this and comes forward against this man.
    I hope you are able to find inner healing.

    Blessings.

  3. Posted June 24, 2010 at 2:53 pm | Permalink

    Please allow me to introduce myself. My name is Gretchen Paules and I am the Administrative Director for a newly formed nonprofit called the Let Go…Let Peace Come In Foundation. Our mission at LGLPCI is to help heal and support adult survivors of childhood sexual abuse worldwide. We are actively seeking adult survivors who would be willing to post their childhood photo & caption, their story, or their creative expressions to our website http://www.letgoletpeacecomein.org. We also have a youtube video that can be viewed at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b4PDC03Gl2k. By uniting survivors from around the globe we hope to provide a stronger and more powerful voice to those survivors who have not yet found the courage to speak out or have been cast aside with disbelief. Through increased awareness

    I am writing to you today to ask you to please consider posting to our website. It is through the support of courageous survivors like you that we will succeed in our effort to help one survivor at a time. If you have any questions please feel free to e-mail me directly at gretchen@letgoletpeacecomein.org. Together we can; together we should; together we NEED to stand up and be counted.

    Warmest Regards,
    Gretchen Paules
    Administrative Director
    Let Go…Let Peace Come In Foundation
    111 Presidential Blvd., Suite 212
    Bala Cynwyd, PA 19004


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