Surrogacy or prostitution

I’ve had many employees over my ten-year career. Most, if not all of them, were women. I usually hire women because the majority of the applicants are female. In the past, I’ve worked with two gay men, but they left me after several months for greener pastures. I suppose you could say I’m difficult to work for, although I try to elevate the mood with humor. But a doctor’s office is not always a fun place. It’s stressful and people are usually here because they’re sick.

I believe my receptionists do an amazing job, and the front desk staff has to put up with a lot.

One thing I have learned over the years is that many of the women who’ve worked for me have babies with men they are not married to. The baby daddy phenomena is something that eludes me. It’s like baseball or football. I kind of understand what’s going on, but I don’t follow it. 

I was  fortunate enough to be raised by two parents. Now before any of you think I am passing judgment, hold your comments until the end. I’m intrigued by the baby daddy phenomena because having a baby outside of marriage is something my parents would have murdered my sisters for. We grew up in a staunch, Italian Catholic family. If a girl got pregnant before she was married, she was a whore. My mother used to threaten my sisters by saying she would lock them up in a convent if she thought they were having sex. Of course, that didn’t apply to boys. My mother quietly warned me not to get a girl pregnant. (Of course, she didn’t have to worry about that).  

I think women are amazing. They can have children, and I believe there are women who can raise a child on her own. She doesn’t necessarily need a man. What confuses me are these men who have babies with multiple women. One of my receptionists told me her baby daddy had two other baby mammas. How many babies does one man need with different women? Is it ego that drives him? Does he need to procreate with multiple women to show his virility? None of these women get support from him. So what kind of father does that make him? Now I’m sure there are baby daddies out there that support their kids. It’s just that I’ve worked with several women, and they all complained about their baby daddies.  

I suppose you could say that I’m intrigued by people who want to have children at all. I never did. My sister Josephine doesn’t have children, but our eldest sister Maria has four. I love her kids. I guess in another time and place Chad and I might have adopted a child, but we’re so busy, and I just don’t see it in the cards for us. Plus we’re in our forties. I don’t want to be a 6o year old with a teenager. But that’s my crazy opinion.   Incidentally, my Maria won’t attend the wedding of a friend’s child because the bride happens to be pregnant (yet barely, if even, showing) because it might send the wrong message of condoning the act of sex out of wedlock to their children.

For the past several years I have been filling out medical clearance forms for gay men who are attempting to have children through surrogacy. This process involves sperm donation by one partner, buying an egg from a donor and then creating a baby through in vitro fertilization AND then implanting that egg into a surrogate who agrees to carry and deliver a child to you for a fee.   It’s amazing the lengths people will go to in order to have a child.

My friend calls them GAYBIES.  

What I find interesting is that there are women who agree to carry a fetus to term for a price. I suppose you could say she is doing something wonderful for a loving couple. Surrogacy is not legal in every state, and it’s expensive.  

My sister Josephine has a progressive kidney disease. I may need to donate a kidney to her. I won’t charge her for that kidney. Of course that is illegal.  

So my question is, why can a woman sell her uterus for money, yet when a woman tries to sell her vagina it’s called prostitution? Prostitution should then be legal in states where surrogacy is legal. In both these instances women are renting out a compartment of their body for a predefined time and purpose for a predefined price.



  1. phillip
    Posted June 25, 2010 at 9:56 am | Permalink

    Interesting thoughts. I have to think about it a while before I would have an answer to the final question.

    I can’t understand why it would be illegal for you to donate a kidney, you mean it’s illegal NOT to charge?

    That makes no sense at all to me but I don’t know anything about it, but I had no idea you couldn’t donate a kidney to your own sister???

    Don’t people do that often?

  2. eric
    Posted June 27, 2010 at 9:25 pm | Permalink

    Your insights are so perceptive and distorted that I look forward to them every day.

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