Gay Pride/Fourth of July

You think after ten years I would know better. Yet for some reason I forget every year. For all you non-gays, Gay Pride New York is celebrated the weekend before the Fourth of July. This translates into one very powerful one-two punch if you know anything about gay men and how they love to party. Unfortunately, I seem to forget this or go into some altered state of denial because if I was a good gay doctor, then I would stock up on intramuscular penicillin and ceftriaxone.

Why you ask?

On July 6th, my day consisted of a seemingly never-ending parade of penises and tushies. All day long, I performed genital and rectal exams on gay men who came in complaining of discharge or bleeding, pain or ulcerations, and my favorite, lost items of little known significance. By lunch time, I was so not hungry, I had to take the dog for a walk around the block in 100 plus degree weather just to shake the visuals out of my head.

Someone should really talk to the government about changing Gay Pride New York to another weekend or at least spacing those two holidays far enough apart to give those poor party hardy gay boys time to rest in between holidays. Seriously. I’m speaking not only as a concerned doctor but also as  earnest gay man myself. It’s too much to ask gay men to show some restraint. They obviously can’t help themselves. So instead of writing and preaching how we, as gay men, should abstain from all the sex, drugs and debauchery, I am going to propose the opposite. No, I’m not going to condone this Party On Garth lifestyle, even though I attended my own fair share of Pride events, but I do want you to take a moment to think.

So next year while your dancing under the hot sun remember these tips:

1. Drink plenty of fluids (And that doesn’t include GHB).

2. Eat something in between events (Yes, the shredded look of dehydration highlights your abs but passing out at parties is so not pretty).

3. Never share water bottles, lip balm or inhalation devices.

4. Carry a condom at all times.

5. And consult your doctor for the first signs of discharge, bleeding or diarrhea.

Thank God there are no other holidays this month.

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2 Comments

  1. Posted July 31, 2010 at 6:14 am | Permalink

    Why not share water bottles?

    By the way, I don’t live in NY — just stumbled onto your blog and have been reading some entries — I don’t think there’s quite as much partying out here in the hinterlands as it sounds like in the city, lol!

  2. spinellimd
    Posted July 31, 2010 at 10:10 pm | Permalink

    I know. New York, Miami and Los Angeles are the real party cities, but then again, I’ve heard of some wild times in DC, Boston and Palm Springs. I don’t go out anymore but I never let anyone near my water bottle. I’ve seen dazed and confused gay men mix up water bottles and the next thing you know you’re drinking someone else’s GHB.


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